You know what, romance novels?

[christinex1001]

You and I are done. DONE.

OK, I tried. I tried to "research the market." I read contemporaries. I read historicals. I read paranormals. And out of all of them, I think I actually really liked two of them. And those two were both written by Jennifer Crusie.

I thought it would be a great fit. I mean, hey, I love to WRITE romance. So I figured reading it would be cake, even though up until that point I'd always been more of an SF/F person, with the occasional mystery or suspense novel thrown in for good measure (along with a good leavening of Jane Austen and my annual rereads of LOTR).

Um, no.

Maybe I've just bought (yes, BOUGHT...there's a chunk of change I'll never get back) a series of duds. But it seems to me that editorial standards for romance novels are just waaay lower than for books in other genres. Now, I'll admit that I'm seeing more mistakes in NY-pubbed books than I used to. Let's just chalk that up to the deplorable state of education in this country and the fact that copy editors probably aren't as good as they used to be. I know I'm overly picky because I used to be a copy editor. Fine.

But after finishing a completely shit-tastic paranormal (seriously, it had plot holes I could drive a Star Destroyer through, not to mention some of the flattest writing I've seen in a long time), I just plowed through Death Star, which a friend gave me last weekend. Everyone knows I'm a big ol' Imperial sympathizer, so it was great to see nuanced Imperial characters in profic, but what struck me more was how much better written that book was (and actually, the two Terminator novels I read as well, even though I really can't stand Alan Dean Foster) than any of the romance novels I'd sampled. And it was mass-market genre fiction, not exactly a novel that was trumpeted as the next Finnegan's Wake or something. I devoured that book, and all I had left was another paranormal, one that was a huge bestseller and one that a lot of people really seemed to love (I won't name names...there's no point, really). Anyway, I started it and wanted to claw my eyes out within the first 20 pages.

Dark, brooding, alpha hero? Check.

Total Mary Sue heroine with psychic powers, cascading raven hair, huge "sapphire" eyes, and a teeny-tiny waist? Check.

I was willing to overlook that. OK, some people like the overblown, purple approach to these things.

But then the author started head-hopping all over the place, and I threw the book away in disgust. I've ranted about that before, so I'll spare you the reruns, but seriously -- does NO ONE in the romance editorial field know what the hell third person limited is? It's not as if this book was purposely written in the omniscient p.o.v. I could have put up with that, even though it irritates the snot out of me. No, the author was in tight third person at the beginning and then started bouncing back and forth between the hero and heroine once they were actually in the same scene together. I felt like I was getting mental whiplash trying to keep up. Is he looking at her? Is she looking at him? I have no freakin' idea. Who am I supposed to be relating to in the scene? God knows, because I sure as hell didn't.

I'm sure there's some good stuff out there, and maybe I'll eat my words if I ever do end up publishing something in the romance genre. But at least my readers won't have to worry about me screwing up something as simple as p.o.v. Sheesh.

Comments

[christinex1001.livejournal.com]

Erm...wouldn't the fact that it was referred to as "the Troubles" be a clue that you should probably treat the subject with respect??

It kind of blows my mind how little research people do. And Nora has no excuse -- it's not as if she couldn't pay someone to do the legwork and then pass it on to her.

Well, I won't stop writing, but how much of it will be fanfic and how much of it will be original is anyone's guess. :-P

[suburbanbeatnik.livejournal.com]

What happened in BiF was that this glass sculpture artist from Co. Clare, at this big gallery opening in Dublin, replies to a stereotypically snooty English art guy, who is trying to psychoanalyze her work, that her sculpture represents the current Irish struggle against English oppression, i.e. the Troubles. What made it so insufferable was that the character did it "roguishly" and with "a twinkle in her eye." Of course the English guy is embarrassed and harrumphs, and the Dubliner gallery owner love interest is amused. Ugh, it just rang false in so many ways. It was like making a cute remark about the Oklahoma city bombing.

From the dedication page, I guess Roberts has vacationed in SW Ireland, but from the tone of her books, you would think that she just watched "Darby O'Gill" and "The Quiet Man" on repeat.

I am actually reminded of this time when I was down in Co. Wexford, staying at a B&B. I figured, "Oh, I'm in the South, people should be more chillin' about history, then they are back North." Um, no. There was a statue in town of a priest who died fighting the English, back in the 18th century. The B&B owner was telling me about it, and I tried to tell a joke. The B&B guy was NOT amused, and I remember how SCARY INTENSE he got, saying that this guy was a martyr and should be revered. It was sure an interesting moment!

Speaking of fanfic, how's "Refugees" coming along? :D

[christinex1001.livejournal.com]

Or, as a native of L.A., making jokes about the riots. Second most terrifying thing I've ever experienced in my life (first was the Northridge quake).

I think it's a common problem with writers who want to write someone who has a very different background from themselves but who don't bother to do anything in the way of research. I'd at least want to read a memoir or two by someone from that geographical area just to get a feel for how they look at the world.

Americans can be so myopic.

Refugees is...stalled. I have the next chapter halfway written. I actually know how it ends. I just need to get there. I should have some writing time tomorrow night when Erik's at class, and I hope I can finish it then. Last week I was sick with this horrible sinus infection that's going around (missed a day and a half of work because I felt like utter crapola). Teach me to share a hookah w/o switching out the tip! :-o

[suburbanbeatnik.livejournal.com]

I know the stalled feeling... I'm trying to get back into "Daughter of the Empire" (still wondering what to rename it) and am struggling a bit.

Did you get my last email? I can resend it, if you like.

I hope you're feeling better!