You know what, romance novels?

[christinex1001]

You and I are done. DONE.

OK, I tried. I tried to "research the market." I read contemporaries. I read historicals. I read paranormals. And out of all of them, I think I actually really liked two of them. And those two were both written by Jennifer Crusie.

I thought it would be a great fit. I mean, hey, I love to WRITE romance. So I figured reading it would be cake, even though up until that point I'd always been more of an SF/F person, with the occasional mystery or suspense novel thrown in for good measure (along with a good leavening of Jane Austen and my annual rereads of LOTR).

Um, no.

Maybe I've just bought (yes, BOUGHT...there's a chunk of change I'll never get back) a series of duds. But it seems to me that editorial standards for romance novels are just waaay lower than for books in other genres. Now, I'll admit that I'm seeing more mistakes in NY-pubbed books than I used to. Let's just chalk that up to the deplorable state of education in this country and the fact that copy editors probably aren't as good as they used to be. I know I'm overly picky because I used to be a copy editor. Fine.

But after finishing a completely shit-tastic paranormal (seriously, it had plot holes I could drive a Star Destroyer through, not to mention some of the flattest writing I've seen in a long time), I just plowed through Death Star, which a friend gave me last weekend. Everyone knows I'm a big ol' Imperial sympathizer, so it was great to see nuanced Imperial characters in profic, but what struck me more was how much better written that book was (and actually, the two Terminator novels I read as well, even though I really can't stand Alan Dean Foster) than any of the romance novels I'd sampled. And it was mass-market genre fiction, not exactly a novel that was trumpeted as the next Finnegan's Wake or something. I devoured that book, and all I had left was another paranormal, one that was a huge bestseller and one that a lot of people really seemed to love (I won't name names...there's no point, really). Anyway, I started it and wanted to claw my eyes out within the first 20 pages.

Dark, brooding, alpha hero? Check.

Total Mary Sue heroine with psychic powers, cascading raven hair, huge "sapphire" eyes, and a teeny-tiny waist? Check.

I was willing to overlook that. OK, some people like the overblown, purple approach to these things.

But then the author started head-hopping all over the place, and I threw the book away in disgust. I've ranted about that before, so I'll spare you the reruns, but seriously -- does NO ONE in the romance editorial field know what the hell third person limited is? It's not as if this book was purposely written in the omniscient p.o.v. I could have put up with that, even though it irritates the snot out of me. No, the author was in tight third person at the beginning and then started bouncing back and forth between the hero and heroine once they were actually in the same scene together. I felt like I was getting mental whiplash trying to keep up. Is he looking at her? Is she looking at him? I have no freakin' idea. Who am I supposed to be relating to in the scene? God knows, because I sure as hell didn't.

I'm sure there's some good stuff out there, and maybe I'll eat my words if I ever do end up publishing something in the romance genre. But at least my readers won't have to worry about me screwing up something as simple as p.o.v. Sheesh.

Comments

[elementalevil.livejournal.com]

Yup...all this to the nth degree.

There are some good romance novels out there, but by and large the ratio of drek to good stuff seems much, much higher than in sci fi and/or...well, hell, any other genre except zombies, which is 95% total bullshit by people who can't write.

ahem.

It drives me absolutely batshit that head-hopping is acceptable in the genre, even apparently encouraged in some parts. What, the flowery language isn't ridiculous enough? Let's not get into the complete asshole heroes (dark, handsome, troubled? yes, gimme some of that, but let's leave the abusive jackasses at home, k?)

I have a story that I'll probably have to try to sell as a romance- it's certainly got a love story but I don't think it's quite historical enough to market it as that - but generally I'm so disgusted with the genre that I don't even want to be associated with it.

I'm also seeing such things spilling into regular paranormal fiction and urban fantasy, which really bugs the shit out of me. If it's an urban fantasy novel with a chick on the cover it's basically a thinly veiled paranormal novel and you don't find out until after you waste $$ on it. GAH.

Am wondering what the bestselling paranormal you hurled aside was, though... ;)

[harmony-bites.livejournal.com]

Ditto. But given my own Romance post you probably know this. And its not like I just picked up random books off the shelves or based on covers or blurbs (the dud theory). Nooooooooooooo. I sought out recommendations, cross-checked for ones that got multiple mentions, and sampled those. Like you, I liked Crusie. I found a Nora Roberts I liked (liked, not loved--but enjoyed at least) and the sample of Georgette Heyer I read led me to believe I might go back for more some day. But the rest? I read a lot in sci-fi/fantasy, and I'm sorry, but the average book you pick up randomly there is so much better than the best of the romance aisle with little exception.

That said, I wouldn't despair. There are a lot of authors in the Sci-fi/Fantasy aisle that write stories that are basically romances. You won't find Feehan in that aisle--not in my local branch of Barnes & Noble anyway, but in Fantasy/Romance you can find Robin McKinley, Charlene Harris, Anne Bishop, Sharon Shinn, Mercedes Lackey, Lois Bujold, Jacqueline Carey among others...

I find even many YA romances rec'd to me to be a higher standard: Kristin Cashore, Tamora Pierce...

I'd just forget the romance aisle and look at the next aisles over for models of what is out there you can love--and would fit you as an author.

[anamin.livejournal.com]

I set myself the assignment of buying/reading romance novels. I think the historical ones are best because some reasearch is involved, but modern ones don't do it for me, and there's a lot of vampire romance now. . .ugh! just ugh!

[irishmagik7.livejournal.com]

I will admit that a lot of historical writers don't do in-depth history. It's essentially just a story in costume. That being said, from my own reading history I can safely say that I have never, ever enjoyed either Christine Feehan or Nora Roberts. Romance novels aren't for everyone. I find though that a lot of the time you do have to look around when your in the romance aisle, and usually the smaller, less known authors are the best ones.

In romance, the reason you're a best seller is because you were able to get a lot of sales, but not necessarily to the most intelligent section of readers. A lot of people don't have very good taste and they'll just buy something because it's from a best-selling author.

I've got a few recommendations if you want to check out the library: Eve Silver's "Dark Desires" is a historical, with a bit of a mystery/paranormal edge to it. The author is actually a professor of anatomy so she's pretty accurate about the cadavers, but fair warning it is a little purple, but she doesn't head hop.

Also any of Judith McNaught's historicals are good. She was one of the first writers I read when I started to get into the genre and they're very good.

[suburbanbeatnik.livejournal.com]

I'm a big romance novel fan, and I swear to God, 99.9% of them out there are complete crap. Not to mention I hate head-hopping as much as I hate Nora Roberts (although I'll never tell SB Sarah that, she'll disown me). I also read a real stinker of an e-romance last week that left me in the foulest mood. Sometimes I wonder why I even stick with the genre... but then, after plowing through piles of shitty romances for months, I'll find a book that will be pure awesome, and I'll feel great. It takes an uncommon level of dedication, though. :P

I know I couldn't ever write romance, though (my work is more in the vein of Judith Merkle Riley/Gillian Bradshaw, who write historicals with a strong romance theme). My hunch is that your real love is SF/F... didn't you once tell me you were thinking of turning "Dust of Empire" into an original? That would be so awesome!

[kudilu.livejournal.com]

hi *waves*
was just poking around after coming here from Ashwinder, and noticed this post.

In general, yes, Romance Novels are crap. (and yes, the caps are intentional). Honestly, I've only found two romance series that i like - one really old, and one brand new.
The old ones are the original Tyler series - they're actually all by different authors, but they have an interesting murder-mystery plot that arcs through the entire series, as well as real not-explicitly-to-get-the-characters-to-shag individual plots. I know there are new Tyler books, but i've never managed to get my hands on them to read them. someday . . .
The new ones are actually by a fanfic author - LadyOfTheMasque. She got discovered via fanfiction and got original novels published. Look for the Sons of Destiny - it's an 8-book set, and it was just recently completed - and she's got more on the way, though not in the same set.