christinex1001: (Default)
I've discovered a fun game. It's called "How Many?" As in, "how many shots of apple schnapps can Joy drink before she gets really, really drunk?"

So far I'm up to six, and I'm barely tipsy. Marian Ravenwood would be proud.

(For the record, this is REAL German schnapps, the yummy Schönauer apfel kind, not that DeKuyper crap you can buy at the supermarket. Just thought I should clear that up.)

Of course no check from Mercury. Left a semi-polite message, but I'm sure those assholes won't call me back. I would have maintained, except I got this little gem in my inbox today, which sort of put the capper on the sucking maw of hell that my life has been lately:

Dear Lulu Distribution Owner,

With the growing number of Lulu titles entering the retail channels, we've discovered we are causing our customers serious confusion. Over time, many Lulu authors have their book listed in the Lulu Marketplace at a price that is lower than their retail price. Customers simply don't understand why a book would be priced differently in different places.

Furthermore, as Lulu continues to expand on an international scale, markets such as the Netherlands, Japan, and Germany, require a fixed price by law. While we'll leave the political debates for another time, the purpose of these consumer protection laws is to avoid the confusion we've been seeing. Customers wonder if the book they are looking at on a book retailing site is the same one as the one they see on Lulu, when the price is so different.

To ensure Lulu Marketplace and retail prices are consistent, we are making the following changes, effective immediately.

Any title you have that is currently in retail distribution via Published by You or Published by Lulu will be temporarily removed from the Lulu Marketplace, and the price of that title will be set to match the retail price you've already set for distribution. All we ask is that you click the link below to make your book available again in the Lulu Marketplace--this time at a price that matches your retail price. By doing so we'll be working together to communicate clearly and consistently to your readers and customers, regardless of where they may be.

The great news from this change is you'll benefit significantly from the higher royalty resulting from this upward price adjustment of your book in the Lulu marketplace. As an example, let's consider a book that was priced at $19.99 for Lulu distribution, but has been listed in the Lulu Marketplace at a lower price.

Published by Lulu distribution price: $19.99 (royalty $4.75)
Lulu Marketplace price: $15.95 (royalty $7.09)

Published by Lulu distribution price: $19.99 (royalty $4.75)
Lulu Marketplace price: $19.99 (royalty is now $10.32)

Notice the higher royalty that you'll now earn every time your book sells in the Lulu Marketplace.

That's the gist of it. Just click the following link to make your title available again in the Lulu Marketplace:

(link removed)

This link will take you to a page where you'll see that your Lulu Marketplace content has been repriced and is waiting to be made "available" again. Keep in mind that your retail distribution status has not been affected with this change, only your Lulu Marketplace listing.

In a few weeks Lulu will be making changes to the distribution and publishing processes that will automatically set prices in both the Lulu Marketplace and retail channels. We will also introduce a pricing calculator to make retail pricing decisions easier. Finally, we will be introducing attractive shipping options for your buyers made possible by these higher Lulu marketplace prices and the resulting increase in royalties.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to reply to this message or email and ask for assistance.


Upshot? My book will now be overpriced everywhere, not just on Amazon. And as the final coup de grace, it's not even available through the Lulu Marketplace until I "approve" the new price. Approve my fluffy white ass, more like it. Also, do they think we're morons? What good is a higher royalty if no one buys the book because it's been completely overpriced??

I fired off an extremely angry e-mail, but I'm sure nothing will come of it. I'm waiting for the universe to prove my pessimism is unfounded. (I'm also wondering what the limit is on disputing credit card transactions . I'd love to rescind that transaction and have them eat the hundred bucks I spent for their fucking distribution plan.)

I went and looked at a very pretty car today on my home. I'm sure it will be gone by the time the people at Mercury get their thumbs out of their asses and send me my money.

Obviously I haven't drunk enough, because there aren't nearly enough typos in this post.


Feb. 2nd, 2007 02:27 pm
christinex1001: (Default)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Don't fuck with the Grand Admiral!

, you're now logged in!

Below you'll find your test result. After, continue on to your
homescreen to discover what we're about.

The Cardinal

You scored 65% Cardinal, 23% Monk, 32% Lady, and 32% Knight!

You are the real power behind the throne. No one dares dispute or refuse you. Which is good because that's how you get things done. You are also, however, completely corrupt and highly immoral. This doesn't bother you in the least as you lounge around your rich comfortable surroundings, reveling in wealth and authority.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Cardinal
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Monk
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Lady
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Knight

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

In other news, Mercury is coughing up more than Blue Book for my vehicle, and I unexpectedly got most of the day off thanks to my kindly and beneficent manager. Now that I've finished running my errands, I'm going to put the rest of my afternoon to good use by doing my nails so they look pretty for our writer's meeting tomorrow.

(Don't try to find any logic in that statement.)

P.S. I got carded again! Go me! (Or Philosophy's line of skin choose.)
christinex1001: (Default)
Actually, it feels as if it should be "part the tenth" or something, considering how long I've been dealing with these assholes, but I think this is the first time I've really ranted about it.

You'd think this would be cut and dried. I mean, I was innocently driving along, minding my own business, and some lame-ass blonde high school dipshit smashes into me. (My apologies to any blondes or high school students out there reading this, but that's what she was. And I don't have a lot of patience, because somehow I managed to make it to 27 before I was in a car accident that was even partially my fault.)

Thus begins the runaround. I couldn't even get my car in to get the body shop to look at it until last Friday (the accident happened the previous Friday), because I guess Mercury has a policy of not taking the other party's statement until they've talked to their own insured, and I guess Miss Prom Queen was too busy shagging the quarterback or whatever to answer the phone. Once I did finally get to make my statement, I took the car into the Mercury-approved body shop THE NEXT MORNING. Net result: Car is a total loss. I mean, it's driveable, but since it was an old car to begin with, basically a broken fingernail would total it.

Called the claims adjuster Monday morning. She says that the case is being transferred to Mercury's total loss department and that she doesn't know who's going to be working on it. She informs me that I should call back Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning if I haven't heard anything from anyone, and she'll try to find out who in TL has been given the claim. So I wait, and then I call this morning...and when I still haven't heard back by 3:30 (I placed the first call at 9:30), she says oh, sorry, I just GOT the file. (Yeah, right.) Says she has to look into who was assigned the case and will call me back. Which she does, an hour later. I promptly call the person in TL who's supposed to be handling the claim. Got -- you guessed it -- voicemail. Left a message calmly explaining the situation and that I would appreciate a call back. Did she call?

Of course not. So now I have to chase down this bitch tomorrow morning, and I'm probably going to have to start writing letters, and meanwhile the car is starting to make some very scary noises from the right front wheel assembly that it wasn't making prior to the accident, and I should probably be getting a rental car until Mercury gets its thumb out of its ass but which I can't really afford to pay for if I don't know whether I'm going to get reimbursed, and right now I'm so pissed off that I'm about ready to go down to Mercury's corporate HQ (which I drive past every day on the way in from work) and start lobbing grenades or something. Except I don't have any grenades. Sigh.

I just didn't think this would be so emotionally draining. I did nothing wrong -- I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. So why am I the one who's getting ass-fucked here? Frankly, the last time I was in an accident where I had to deal with an insurance company paying out for something, within this same time span (two weeks) I'd had the damage appraised, gotten a rental car, and had the car fixed and returned to me. (That was when I was with Geico.)

Add to that the fact that I haven't written anything for weeks, this hideous dry weather is sucking my will to live, and the traffic has been completely hideous this week due to Caltrans deciding to flex its sadistic muscle, and you'll see why I feel just so goddamned tired all the time. I really hate life right now.

Think I'm going to go cry and drink...not necessarily in that order.


christinex1001: (Default)

September 2010

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